Sunday, November 4, 2018

Include first and last names when mentioning alumni in your essay

Include first and last names when mentioning alumni in your essay

Tip: Always refer to current students or alumni by their full name and year of graduation. 
Reason: Sometimes, admissions office readers only know someone's first name.

IN ESSAYS
  • Student names: Always refer to current students or alumni by their full name. Sometimes, adcom readers only know someone's first name, especially at schools like Kellogg and Tuck. Write like this: Vince Ricci (MBA '15)
  • School name: similarly, in your goals essay, the first time you write a school's name, spell it out officially as the school does e.g. The Kellogg School of Management. Afterward, you can just call it Kellogg.

IN LETTERS of RECOMMENDATION
  • The first time your recommender mentions you, he should write your full name, like this: "I first met Mr. Vince Ricci in 2002." Afterward, he can refer to you as just Mr. Ricci (or Vince if a peer / casual recommender)
  • I am writing to you with regard to [Mr./Ms. Full Name], who has requested that I write a letter of recommendation on [his/her] behalf.

Mr vs Mr.
  • In British English, abbreviated titles that end with the same letter as the word being abbreviated do not take a full stop (period): “Mr” but “Prof.”
  • On the other hand, in American English, all titles take a period: “Mr.” and “Prof.”
  • Either way, be sure to add a space after Mr or Mr.

Too many clients write Mr.Smith, which is always incorrect in both US and UK English.
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Friday, August 31, 2018

How to markup an essay

Q: What do these editing colors and symbols mean?
A: I often use the following highlight colors to indicate certain writing issues


ORANGE = wdy = wordy, verbose


YELLOW = grammar issues, including misplaced modifiers, usage, spelling, articles, agreement, capitalization


GREEN = vague, illogical, imprecise or misleading
  • Vague: add prepositional phrases and details to fix the context and define the issues 
  • va = vague: A paragraph, sentence, clause, phrase, or word is vague, nonspecific, imprecise, or misleading. The most common error is failure to include short prepositional phrases that tie things down. Vague (depending on context): "The court refused to decide the issue." Precise: "The court refused to decide the issue of proximate cause." 
  • Solution: show, don't tell (http://techwritingtodai.blogspot.jp/2011/03/sdt.html) 
  • This... what? Professor John Cochrane at The University of Chicago Booth School of Business says, you should clothe the naked “this.” “This” should always have something following it. “This example shows that....” is fine. More generally, this rule helps you to avoid an unclear antecedent to the “this.” Often there are three or more things in recent memory that “this” could point to. http://techwritingtodai.blogspot.jp/2014/07/this-what.html


BLUE = logic or transition issues
  • not believable, not credible (esp. in recommendation letters)
  • The greatest mistake that I see applicants make when drafting bullet points for letters of recommendation: they cross the credibility line by referencing information the recommender is unlikely to know. Recommenders can only mention what you said and did, not what you thought and felt. How can a recommender know your inner motivations unless you told him? And even if you told him, why would he feel the need to mention such information in a letter of recommendation? Bottom line: He should discuss what you said (add real dialogue) and did (actions and results) instead of what you thought or felt. 
  • trans = transition problem: A transition between paragraphs, arguments, or sections of the writing is nonexistent, abrupt, weak, lame or misleading. Think about the logical relationship between the parts that need connecting and try to write a smooth and helpful transition. Good transitions are based upon ideas and their logical relationship, not just clever or stock phrases. 
  • Please read these tips to improve your transitions  http://techwritingtodai.blogspot.jp/2012/04/transitions.html  


PINK = awkward or passive
  • awkward phrasing, although not grammatically incorrect. Most common: words with slightly inapposite meaning, too many words to express a particular concept, or awkward (but not technically incorrect) grammatical construction 
  • pv = passive voice: Passive constructions ("the case was decided" or "it was determined that...") are grammatically correct but weak and often confusing. They are useful only when the subject of the verb is unknown or indefinite or the writer wishes to conceal the subject.
  • Otherwise, passive voice—particularly if used repeatedly—is a sign of wooden and heavy writing. 
  • Solution: There are five reasons to use passive voice. Please learn them! http://techwritingtodai.blogspot.jp/2011/04/passive-voice.html


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Monday, May 1, 2017

This... what?


THIS... WHAT?

 To quote Professor John Cochrane at The University of Chicago Booth School of Business, you should clothe the naked “this.”

 “This” should always have something following it. “This example shows that....” is fine. More generally, this rule helps you to avoid an unclear antecedent to the “this.” Often there are three or more things in recent memory that “this” could point to.

 In grammar lexicon, the above issue is often marked as "unclear antecedent."
Sometimes an antecedent is unclear not because there are multiple nouns that a pronoun may refer to, but because the noun that the pronoun refers to has not been stated. This error is especially common when writers use first-person plural pronouns—we, us, our, and ours—to imply unity between the writer and the readers.

Identifying and Addressing Unclear Pronouns and Antecedents

https://writingcommons.org/.../1237-identifying-and-addressing-unclear-pronouns-antec...






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Tuesday, May 5, 2015

How to do peer review



What is peer review?


"As a peer reviewer, your job is not to provide answers. You raise questions; the writer makes the choices. You act as a mirror, showing the writer how the draft looks to you and pointing our areas which need attention." - Sharon Williams

How to provide helpful feedback

  • Read a draft all the way through before you begin to comment on it.
  • Give yourself enough time to read and respond.
  • Point out the strengths of the draft.
  • When discussing areas that need improvement, be nice. Offer appropriate, constructive comments from a reader's point of view.
  • Make comments text-specific, referring specifically to the writer's draft (NO "rubber stamps" such as "awkward" or "unclear" or "vague," which are too general to be helpful).
  • Avoid turning the writer's paper into YOUR paper. 
  • Don't overwhelm the writer with too much commentary. Stick to the major issues on the feedback form that are problematic.
  • Make sure your suggestions are reasonable (i.e., don't suggest that they totally rewrite the paper because you didn't agree with the author's point of view or didn’t like the topic).
  • If something appears too complicated to write in the commentary, just mention that you have something that you would like to talk to the writer about when you discuss the draft afterward.
  • Before giving your written comments to the author, reread your comments to make sure they are clear and make sense.

(found at http://mwp01.mwp.hawaii.edu/resources/peer_review.htm; accessed 11/2010)



What types of comments are constructive and helpful?

  • Be respectful and considerate of the writer's feelings.
  • Use "I" statements.
  • Offer suggestions, not commands.
  • Raise questions from a reader's point of view, points that may not have occurred to the writer.
  • Phrase comments clearly and carefully so that the writer can easily understand what needs to be improved.
  • Make sure comments are constructive and specific (not "This paper is confusing. It keeps saying the same things over and over again" but rather "It sounds like paragraph five makes the same point as paragraphs 2 and 3.").


(found at http://mwp01.mwp.hawaii.edu/resources/peer_review.htm; accessed 11/2010)









Form groups of three

Assign each member a letter (A, B, or C)

You have 25 mins to review and give comments on paper

In those 25 minutes, you should

  • Read one paper (A, B, or C - not all three!)
  • Write comments on the peer review sheet
  • Share your comments with the author

Here are the steps:

  1. Writer 1 gives each peer a copy of her paper (A gives her paper to B and C)
  2. Peer reads the paper twice: first time for content (ideas), second time for style and usage (grammar): approximately 4 mins
  3. Peers write comments on peer review sheet: approximately 2 mins
  4. Peers review comments before sharing them (ensure they are logical, relevant, and easy to understand): approximately 1 min
  5. Peers share comments with writers verbally one-by-one, then give writer their written comments: approximately 8 mins
  6. Writer processes comments by asking peer for clarification and further advice on how to improve her paper: approximately 5 mins 



PEER REVIEW

Peer review lesson plan


• Print and bring four printed copies of your paper to our May 2 class
• You will exchange papers with your peers from different academic disciplines
• You will fill out the form below

Author________________________
Reviewer______________________

The goals of peer review are 1) to help improve your classmate's paper by pointing out strengths and weaknesses that may not be apparent to the author, and 2) to help improve editing skills.
INSTRUCTIONS
Read the paper(s) assigned to you twice, once to get an overview of the paper, and a second time to provide constructive criticism for the author to use when revising his/her paper. Answer the questions below. 
STRUCTURE (30%)
1. Were the introduction, body paragraph, and conclusion adequate? If not, what is missing?

2. Was the material ordered in a way that was logical, clear, and easy to follow? Why or why not? Explain with details.

CONTENT (30%)
3. Did the writer adequately summarize and discuss the topic? Why or why not? Explain with details.

4. Did the writer merely summarize existing data or publications?  

WORD CHOICE (20%)
5. Are the words specific and accurate? Does the writer use strong action verbs whenever possible? Are the adjectives as descriptive as possible? Are the nouns specific, not general? Why or why not? Explain with details.


GRAMMAR AND STYLE (20%)
6. Were there grammatical or spelling problems? Did the writer use active and passive voice appropriately?

7. Was the writer’s writing style clear, appealing, and full of energy? Why or why not? Explain with details.



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Monday, April 14, 2014

Never use two words if one is enough

Never use two words if one is enough


1. WORDINESS

Never use two words if one is enough.
Instead of "past experience," simply write "experience."
The verb "resigned" is a concise alternative for the phrase "left the firm".
  • end result → result
  • future plans → plans

     
If a sentence has more than 20 words without punctuation, or more than 40 words altogether, it may be excessively wordy. Consider re-phrasing the sentence, or breaking it into smaller sentences. People have very short attention spans; if too much information is presented all at once, the brain cannot properly process it.
While there are no strict rules about length of a sentence, if your clauses are longer than about 20 words, or if your entire sentence is longer than about 40 words, it may be too much for your reader to clearly understand. If the reader has to go back and re-read too many sentences, they may just give up reading... and possibly fall asleep.


 

S-V-O is the way to go!

Subject - Verb - Object (S-V-O) Sentences
  1. I play football.
  2. Max reads books.
  3. We can speak English.
  4. Sue is singing a nice song.
  5. I like table tennis.
more tips here:

 

ALSO, WATCH FOR RUN-ON SENTENCES
 

When two independent clauses are joined by a co-ordinating conjunction (e.g. "and", "but", "or", "so"), there must be a comma before the conjunction or it will be a run-on sentence. Clearly identify the conjunction in the sentence with two independent clauses, and insert a comma before the conjunction.

Incorrect: Matthew went to the library and I headed back to the science lab.
The two clauses, “Matthew went to the library” and “I headed back to the science lab”, are independent; a comma should be inserted before “and”.

Incorrect: The wind was brisk but the sun was strong.
The two clauses, “the wind was brisk” and “the sun was strong”, are independent; there should be a comma before “but”.

Correct: The man’s business was failing, so he was searching for alternative income.
The two clauses, “the man’s business was failing” and “he was searching for alternative income”, are independent. The co-ordinating conjunction, “so” requires a comma before it.


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Monday, March 17, 2014

How can I keep my subjects and verbs in agreement?

Many ESL writers struggle to keep their subjects and verbs in agreement. 

Here are some useful tips from Jane Strauss, author of "The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation".
Basic Rule.
The basic rule states that a singular subject takes a singular verb, while a plural subject takes a plural verb.
NOTE: The trick is in knowing whether the subject is singular or plural. The next trick is recognizing a singular or plural verb.
Hint: Verbs do not form their plurals by adding an s as nouns do. In order to determine which verb is singular and which one is plural, think of which verb you would use with he or she and which verb you would use with they.

Example: talks, talk

Which one is the singular form? Which word would you use with he? We say, "He talks." Therefore, talks is singular. We say, "They talk." Therefore, talk is plural. 




Rule 1. Two singular subjects connected by or or nor require a singular verb.

Example: My aunt or my uncle is arriving by train today.

Rule 2. Two singular subjects connected by either/or or neither/nor require a singular verb as in Rule 1.

Examples: Neither Juan nor Carmen is available.
Either Kiana or Casey is helping today with stage decorations.

Rule 3. When I is one of the two subjects connected by either/or or neither/nor, put it second and follow it with the singular verb am.

Example: Neither she nor I am going to the festival.

Rule 4. When a singular subject is connected by or or nor to a plural subject, put the plural subject last and use a plural verb.

Example: The serving bowl or the plates go on that shelf.

Rule 5. When a singular and plural subject are connected by either/or or neither/nor, put the plural subject last and use a plural verb.

Example: Neither Jenny nor the others are available.

Rule 6. As a general rule, use a plural verb with two or more subjects when they are connected by and.

Example: A car and a bike are my means of transportation.

Rule 7. Sometimes the subject is separated from the verb by words such as along with, as well as, besides, or not. Ignore these expressions when determining whether to use a singular or plural verb.

Examples: The politician, along with the newsmen, is expected shortly.
Excitement, as well as nervousness, is the cause
of her shaking.

Rule 8. The pronouns each, everyone, every one, everybody, anyone, anybody, someone, and somebody are singular and require singular verbs. Do not be misled by what follows of.

Examples: Each of the girls sings well.
Every one of the cakes is gone.
NOTE: Everyone is one word when it means everybody. Every one is two words when the meaning is each one.

Rule 9.
With words that indicate portions—percent, fraction, part, majority, some, all, none, remainder, and so forth —look at the noun in your of phrase (object of the preposition) to determine whether to use a singular or plural verb. If the object of the preposition is singular, use a singular verb. If the object of the preposition is plural, use a plural verb.

Examples: Fifty percent of the pie has disappeared.
Pie is the object of the preposition of.
Fifty percent of the pies have disappeared.
Pies is the object of the preposition.
One-third of the city is unemployed.
One-third of the people are unemployed.
NOTE: Hyphenate all spelled-out fractions.
All of the pie is gone.
All of the pies are gone.
Some of the pie is missing.
Some of the pies are missing.


None of the garbage was picked up.


None of the sentences were punctuated correctly.


Of all her books, none have sold as well as the first one.

Rule 10. The expression the number is followed by a singular verb while the expression a number is followed by a plural verb.

Examples: The number of people we need to hire is thirteen.
A number of people have written in about this subject.

Rule 11. When either and neither are subjects, they always take singular verbs.

Examples: Neither of them is available to speak right now.
Either of us is capable of doing the job.

Rule 12. The words here and there have generally been labeled as adverbs even though they indicate place. In sentences beginning with herethere, the subject follows the verb. or

Examples: There are four hurdles to jump.
There is a high hurdle to jump.

Rule 13. Use a singular verb with sums of money or periods of time.

Examples: Ten dollars is a high price to pay.
Five years is the maximum sentence for that offense.

Rule 14. Sometimes the pronoun who, that, or which is the subject of a verb in the middle of the sentence. The pronouns who, that, and which become singular or plural according to the noun directly in front of them. So, if that noun is singular, use a singular verb. If it is plural, use a plural verb.

Examples: Salma is the scientist who writes/write the reports.
The word in front of who is scientist, which is singular. Therefore, use the singular verb writes.
He is one of the men who does/do the work.
The word in front of who is men, which is plural. Therefore, use the plural verb do.

Rule 15. Collective nouns such as team and staff may be either singular or plural depending on their use in the sentence.

Examples: The staff is in a meeting.
Staff is acting as a unit here.
The staff are in disagreement about the findings.
The staff are acting as separate individuals in this example.
The sentence would read even better as:
The staff members are in disagreement about the findings.

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Thursday, November 14, 2013

Nine ways to improve email messages

My graduate engineering students at The University of Tokyo often ask me for tips on how to write email messages to overseas colleagues.

Here is a summary of my best tips, compiled from various public sources (scroll down for links and resources).

1. Confirm your reason for writing


Before you write anything, ask yourself
  • Why am I writing this email?
  • What result do I expect? 


If you can’t succinctly state these answers, you might want to hold off on sending your message until you can. People get dozens, hundreds, even thousands of emails each day, so it’s only natural for them to gravitate toward the messages that are well thought-out and that clearly respect their time and attention. Careless emails do not invite careful responses.


Think through your email from the recipient’s point of view, and make sure you’ve done everything you can to try and help yourself before contacting someone else. If it’s a valuable message, treat it that way, and put in the time to making your words count.



2. Write a precise subject line


Use a detailed subject line. Business executives often complain that email with subject lines that are vague or empty land in their junk mail folder. Avoid getting ignored by including a straightforward but thorough subject.



You can make it even easier for your recipient to immediately understand why you’ve sent them an email and to quickly determine what kind of response or action it requires. Compose a great “Subject:” line that hits the high points or summarizes the thrust of the message. Avoid “Hi,” “One more thing…,” or “FYI,” in favor of typing a short summary of the most important points in the message:



  • Lunch rescheduled to Friday @ 1pm
  • Reminder: Monday is "St. Bono’s Day"–no classes
  • REQ: Resend Larry Tate zip file?
  • HELP: Can you set up my printer?


In fact, if you’re relating just a single fact or asking one question in your email, consider using just the subject line to relate your message. In some organizations, such emails are identified by adding (EOM)—for end of message—at the end of the Subject line. This lets recipients see that the whole message is right there in the subject without clicking to the view the (non-existent) body. This is highly appreciated by people who receive a large volume of mail, since it lets them do a quick triage on your message without needing to conduct a full examination.



Sadly, good email subjects have become something of a lost art. It’s a pity, because you’re far more likely to get a favorable response from a busy person when they can quickly understand your message.



3. Use a proper salutation


Q: While addressing the recipient, is it better to use Sir/Madam instead of Mr./Ms./Dr. followed by the name of the recipient?



Q: How should I write the title (Mr., Ms.) of recipients if I do not know his or her sex? Many non-English names are difficult to distinguish their gender just by their names.




Q: How can I write to a foreign company without knowing who is in charge of a certain section? In the Kaplan chapter 3, there is a part saying we should follow their customs of reading while writing for international audiences. But in general, which style should we follow when we are not sure whether the person we are writing to is a foreigner?






A: Say hello. Business email has become so informal that some people do not even begin with a salutation. Avoid this habit. Properly address the person you are writing and use a colon, rather than a comma. For example, "Dear Mr. Smith:" is a correct business opening. You can switch to a comma once back-and-forth correspondence is established.




A: Here are some useful phrases
  • Dear Sir or Madam: (use if you don't know who you are writing to)
  • Dear Personnel Director: (use if you only know someone's title but not his or her name)
  • Dear Dr, Mr, Mrs, Miss or Ms Smith: (use if you know who you are writing to, and have a formal relationship with - VERY IMPORTANT use Ms for women unless asked to use Mrs or Miss)
  • Dear Frank: (use if the person is a close business contact or friend)





Q: What is the proper way to introduce myself to you in this email for making questions concerning the contents of the class last week?


A: I am listing various ways students contacted me in order of preference (best first; try to avoid the last two)


  • Dear Professor Ricci:
  • Dear Mr. Ricci:
  • Dear Mr. Vince Ricci:
  • Dear Ricci sensei:
  • Dear Mr. Vince:
  • Dear Sir:





4. Provide context - your reason for writing 




Q: How should I reference past communication?
A: Here are some useful phrases
  • With reference to your advertisement in the Times...
  • With reference to your letter of 23rd March...
  • With reference to your phone call today...
  • Thank you for your letter of March 5th.


Q: How should I state the purpose of my contact?


A: Here are some useful phrases
  • I am writing to inquire about
  • I am writing to apologize for
  • I am writing to confirm







5. Get what you need



There are three basic types of business email.

  1. Providing information - “Larry Tate will be in the office Monday at 10.”
  2. Requesting information - “Where did you put the ‘Larry Tate’ file?”
  3. Requesting action - “Will you call Larry Tate’s admin to confirm our meeting on Monday?”




It should be clear to your recipient which type of email yours is; don’t bury the lede. Get the details and context packed into that first sentence or two whenever you can. Don’t be afraid to write an actual “topic sentence” that clarifies a) what this is about, and b) what response or action you require of the recipient.





Since the Larry Tate meeting on Monday has been moved from the Whale Room, could you please make sure the Fishbowl has been reserved and that the caterer has been notified of the location change? Please IM me today by 5pm Pacific Time to verify.





Assume that no one will ever read more than the first sentence of anything you write. Making that first sentence strong and clear is easily the best way to interest your recipient in the second sentence and beyond.



If your message includes any kind of request—whether for a meeting, a progress update, or what have you—put that request near the top of the message and clearly state when you will need it. Do not, under any circumstances, assume that your overwhelmed recipient will take the time to sift through your purple prose for clues about what they’re supposed to be doing for you.



Depending on the style of your team and the volume of mail they create, you might even consider adding functional text headers to the top of the body outlining the exact nature of the message.




This email is:

[ ] actionable

[ ] fyi

[ ] social





Response needed:

[ ] yes

[ ] up to you

[ ] no





Time-sensitive:

[ ] immediate

[ ] soon

[ ] none







Remove the guesswork from your messages by thinking of them like friendly work orders; you must not be afraid to ask for what you want, especially if you have any desire to actually have the recipient give it to you.



Q: How do I ask for what I need in a polite way?
A: Here are some useful phrases


  • Could you possibly...?

  • I would be grateful if you could...




6. Manage expecatations



Q: How should I manage expectations of readers to understand that something bad has happened?


A: Here are some useful phrases


  • Unfortunately, 

  • I am afraid that...





7. Attach documents





Q: How do I reference attachments?


A: Most people prefer that documents be sent as attachments, rather than copied and pasted into the body of the email.

  • I am attaching...
  • Please find attached...
  • Attached you will find...





8. Close appropriately





Q: How do I close my letter in a direct but polite way?


A:  Here are some useful phrases
  • Thank you for your help. Please contact me if there are any problems.
  • Thank you for your help. Please let me know if you have any questions.





9. Sign-off politely


Q: How should I end my email?


A: Good sign-offs for academic and business correspondence

  • Sincerely,
  • Sincerely yours, (not: "Sincerely Yours," - as in a sentence, you only capitalize the first word)
  • Best regards, (not: "Best Regards," - as in a sentence, you only capitalize the first word)
  • Best,
  • Thanks,



A: These sign-offs are too informal for academic and business correspondence (OK with friends, family) 

  • Cheers,
  • Love,
  • Hugs,
  • Later,


A: These sign-offs are polite, but best used in written letters, not email messages 

  • Cordially,
  • Yours truly,
  • Yours,


Compiled from various online sources including


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Saturday, September 7, 2013

Academic Writing Tips: Videos and Slides

5 Steps to better writing: Vince tips from University of Tokyo

Technical Writing Spring 2012
View more presentations from Vince.




Here is a slidecast (PowerPoint plus voiceover) of Vince's lecture





Here are the first 20 minutes of Vince’s Introduction to Technical Writing
Todai 2010_11_17
View more videos from VincePrep .




PLEASE NOTE: Vince could only upload the first 25 mins of the lecture video, but you can listen to the entire 90 minute audio here













-Updated by Vince on 21 April 2012


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