How to write strong topic sentences

TOPIC SENTENCES

What is a topic sentence?
· The topic sentence is the first sentence in a paragraph.

What does it do?
· It introduces the main idea of the paragraph.

Why are topic sentences important?

1. They give your paragraph focus.
a. If your topic sentences are not clear, then the rest of the paragraph most likely won’t have a specific focus or will be incoherent.

2. They help your readers.
a. Your readers are busy and impatient.
b. They want to know your main idea first.
c. They read the first sentence of every paragraph, looking for your main ideas.
d. Then, they quickly review the other sentences.
e. If someone only read your topic sentences, would he or she be able to understand your contribution and supporting ideas?
Q: HOW DO I IMPROVE MY TOPIC SENTENCES SO THAT READERS WILL UNDERSTAND, BELIEVE AND CARE ABOUT MY STORY EVEN IF THEY ARE SPEED READING? Topic Sentences: You can tell what the topic of the first body paragraph is by reading the topic sentence, which is the first sentence in the paragraph. The topic sentence tells your reader the main idea of the paragraph. As a writer, you need to know the main idea in order to develop your paragraph with facts to support that idea. As an exercise, strip your essay down to only the topic sentences. Ask yourself:

• Does your story make sense? 
• Will a non-expert be able to understand what happened?
• Do you appear in your own topic sentences?
• Are you the star/hero of your own story?
• Do your verbs convey power?

My clients often get lost in the details when writing their first drafts of leadership (and other) essays. They feel the need to explain the situation first before showing their specific task and action steps taken to achieve the desired result. In your next draft, work to put yourself at the center of the action. More hints Each body paragraph of your paper builds towards proving one particular aspect of your thesis, and each of these aspects should be crystallized into a strong topic sentence. If your paper is quite short, these sentences might represent the main points you mentioned in the blueprint part of your thesis, but they might each be more specific aspects of one of those points, particularly if your paper is longer. Defining your topics - First and foremost, a topic sentence is a piece of analysis, NOT summary. Think of it as an original interpretation based upon the facts of your story (not just a flat summary of your topic). The first of the following examples illustrates a statement of fact, rather than an argumentative topic sentence. Weak Topic Sentence: "Book Five of Paradise Lost concentrates on the conversation between Adam and the archangel Raphael." Strong Topic Sentence: "Throughout Book Five, Milton utilizes images of gardening and nourishment to convey man's maturing relationship to the divine." http://www.essayedge.com/academics/writingadvice/course/lessonthree.html

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• Since 2002, I have been a full-time international graduate admissions consultant
• Based most the year in Tokyo, Japan, I help clients around the world 
• In 2007, I launched VincePrep because I wanted to help the best candidates aiming for the top schools
• To share my insights with a talented team, I rejoined Agos as Consulting Director in 2014 
• Now, I lead 10 professionals who deliver Japan’s best graduate admissions results
• I also serve as Governance Chair of The Association of International Graduate Admissions Consultants (AIGAC)
• Given my ongoing professional and personal commitments, I accept very few clients
• Usually, I refer prospects to one of my highly-experienced and successful colleagues   
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• Thank you for your interest, and best wishes for your success!

Create an outline before writing your first draft

An essay outline is probably the most important friend you will have while writing your essay. It is the scaffolding of your paper and the skeleton of your ideas. It is the framework by which you will write a killer essay. And frankly, it is difficult to write one without an outline.

How to Write an Outline

What is it?

An outline is a general plan of the material that is to be presented in a speech or a paper. The outline shows the order of the various topics, the relative importance of each, and the relationship between the various parts.

Order in an Outline

There are many ways to arrange the different parts of a subject. Sometimes, a chronological arrangement works well. At other times, a spatial arrangement is best suited to the material. The most common order in outlines is to go from the general to the specific. This means you begin with a general idea and then support it with specific examples.

Thesis Statement of Summarizing Sentence

All outlines should begin with a thesis statement of summarizing sentence. This thesis sentence presents the central idea of the paper. It must always be a complete, grammatical sentence, specific and brief, which expresses the point of view you are taking towards the subject.

Types of Outlines

The two main types of outlines are the topic outline and the sentence outline. In the topic outline, the headings are given in single words or brief phrases. In the sentence outline, all the headings are expressed in complete sentences.

Rules for Outlining

1. Subdivide topics by a system of numbers and letters, followed by a period.

Example:

I.

    A.

    B.

        1.

        2.

            a.

            b.

II.

    A.

    B.

2. Each heading and subheading must have at least two parts.

3. Headings for parts of the paper of speech such as, Introduction and Conclusion, should not be used.

4. Be consistent. Do not mix up the two types of outlines. Use either whole sentences of brief phrases, but not both.

Examples

Topic Outline

Choices in College and After

Thesis: The decisions I have to make in choosing college courses, depend on larger questions I am beginning to ask myself about my life’s work.

    I. Two decisions described

A. Art history or chemistry

1. Professional considerations

2. Personal considerations

B. A third year of French?

1. Practical advantages of knowing a  foreign  language

2. Intellectual advantages

3. The issue of necessity

    II. Definition of the problem

A. Decisions about occupation

B. Decisions about a kind of life to lead

    III. Temporary resolution of the problem

A. To hold open a professional possibility: chemistry

B. To take advantage of cultural gains already made: French

Sentence Outline

Choices in College and After

Thesis: The decisions I have to make in choosing college courses, depend on larger questions I am beginning to ask myself about my life’s work.

I. I have two decisions to make with respect to choosing college courses in the immediate future.

A. One is whether to elect a course in art history or in chemistry.

1. One time in my life, I planned to be a chemical engineer professionally.

2. On the other hand, I enjoy art and plan to travel and see more of it.

B. The second decision is whether to continue a third year of French beyond the basic college requirement.

1. French might be useful both in engineering and travel.

2. Furthermore, I am eager to read good books which are written in French.

3. How necessary are these considerations in the light of other courses I might take instead?

II. My problem can be put in the form of a dilemma involving larger questions about my whole future.

A. On the one hand I want to hold a highly-trained position in a lucrative profession.

B. On the other hand I want to lead a certain kind of life, with capacities for values not connected with the making of money.

III. I will have to make a decision balancing the conflicting needs I have described.

A. I will hold open the professional possibilities by electing chemistry.

B. I will improve and solidify what cultural proficiency in another language I have already gained, by electing French.

How to Write an Outline

An outline breaks down the parts of your thesis in a clear, hierarchical manner. Most students find that writing an outline before beginning the paper is most helpful in organizing one's thoughts. If your outline is good, your paper should be easy to write.

The basic format for an outline uses an alternating series of numbers and letters, indented accordingly, to indicate levels of importance. 

Here is an example of an outline on a paper about the development of Japanese theater:

OUTLINE	NOTES
I. Thesis: Japanese theater rose from a popular to elite and then returned to a popular art form.	The thesis is stated in the first section, which is the introduction.
II. Early theatrical forms A. Bugaku B. Sarugaku C. Primitive Noh D. Authors and Audience III. Noh theater A. Authors B. Props 1. Masks a. women b. demons c. old men 2. Structure of Stage C. Themes 1. Buddhist influence 2. The supernatural D. Kyogen interludes E. Audience IV. Kabuki A. Authors B. Props 1. make-up 2. special effects C. Themes 1. Love stories 2. Revenge D. Audience V. Bunraku (puppet) theater A. Authors B. Props C. Themes 1. Love stories 2. Historical romances D. Audience	The body follows the introduction, and breaks down the points the author wishes to make. Note that some section have subdivisions, others do not, depending on the demands of the paper. In this outline, II, III, & IV all have similar structure, but this will not necessarily be true for all papers. Some may only have three major sections, others more than the five given here.
VI. Conclusion	Your conclusion should restate your thesis, and never introduce new material.

When you begin writing an essay outline, use the following model as a guide:

I. INTRODUCTION:

Thesis:_____________________________________________________.

II. BODY PARAGRAPH 1:

Opening Sentence:___________________________________________.

Detail 1:____________________________________________________.

Detail 2:____________________________________________________.

Detail 3:____________________________________________________.

III. BODY PARAGRAPH II:

Transition/Opening Sentence:_________________________________.

Detail 1:____________________________________________________.

Detail 2:____________________________________________________.

Detail 3:____________________________________________________.

IV. BODY PARAGRAPH III:

Transition/Opening Sentence:_________________________________.

Detail 1:____________________________________________________.

Detail 2:____________________________________________________.

Detail 3:____________________________________________________.

V. BODY PARAGRAPH IV:

Transition/Opening Sentence:_________________________________.

Detail 1:____________________________________________________.

Detail 2:____________________________________________________.

Detail 3:____________________________________________________.

VI. CONCLUSION:

Reconfirmed Thesis:_________________________________________.

If you use this rough guide and fill in the blanks as you are researching your essay, you will find writing the essay so simple. You have all you need in front of you. It is researched and organized. All you have to do now is fill in the blanks with transition words and smooth language.

SOURCES

http://www.bookrags.com/articles/2.html

http://www.essaywritinghelp.com/outline.htm

http://www.suite101.com/content/how-to-write-an-essay-outline-a98961

http://www.albany.edu/eas/170/outline.htm

http://www.lavc.edu/library/outline.htm

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How can I make my writing more concise?

MY ESSAY IS TOO LONG. HOW DO I CUT WORDS?

• Read your essay aloud at full volume (doing so forces you to go slow).
• After each word or phrase, ask yourself, "If I cut this, will my meaning change?"
• If the answer is "no", then cut it!

More tips here, including this activity from the Purdue Online Writing Lab (OWL), which is a fantastic resource for writers.  

Conciseness

Summary: This resource will help you write clearly by eliminating unnecessary words and rearranging your phrases.

Contributors: Ryan Weber, Nick Hurm
Last Edited: 2010-04-17 05:34:19

The goal of concise writing is to use the most effective words. Concise writing does not always have the fewest words, but it always uses the strongest ones. Writers often fill sentences with weak or unnecessary words that can be deleted or replaced. Words and phrases should be deliberately chosen for the work they are doing. Like bad employees, words that don't accomplish enough should be fired. When only the most effective words remain, writing will be far more concise and readable.

This resource contains general conciseness tips followed by very specific strategies for pruning sentences.

1. Replace several vague words with more powerful and specific words.

Often, writers use several small and ambiguous words to express a concept, wasting energy expressing ideas better relayed through fewer specific words. As a general rule, more specific words lead to more concise writing. Because of the variety of nouns, verbs, and adjectives, most things have a closely corresponding description. Brainstorming or searching a thesaurus can lead to the word best suited for a specific instance. Notice that the examples below actually convey more as they drop in word count.

Wordy: The politician talked about several of the merits of after-school programs in his speech (14 words)

Concise: The politician touted after-school programs in his speech. (8 words)

Wordy: Suzie believed but could not confirm that Billy had feelings of affection for her. (14 words)

Concise: Suzie assumed that Billy adored her. (6 words)

Wordy: Our website has made available many of the things you can use for making a decision on the best dentist. (20 words)

Concise: Our website presents criteria for determining the best dentist. (9 words)

Wordy: Working as a pupil under a someone who develops photos was an experience that really helped me learn a lot. (20 words)

Concise: Working as a photo technician's apprentice was an educational experience. (10 words)

2. Interrogate every word in a sentence

Check every word to make sure that it is providing something important and unique to a sentence. If words are dead weight, they can be deleted or replaced. Other sections in this handout cover this concept more specifically, but there are some general examples below containing sentences with words that could be cut.

Wordy: The teacher demonstrated some of the various ways and methods for cutting words from my essay that I had written for class. (22 words)

Concise: The teacher demonstrated methods for cutting words from my essay. (10 words)

Wordy: Eric Clapton and Steve Winwood formed a new band of musicians together in 1969, giving it the ironic name of Blind Faith because early speculation that was spreading everywhere about the band suggested that the new musical group would be good enough to rival the earlier bands that both men had been in, Cream and Traffic, which people had really liked and had been very popular. (66 words)

Concise: Eric Clapton and Steve Winwood formed a new band in 1969, ironically naming it Blind Faith because speculation suggested that the group would rival the musicians’ previous popular bands, Cream and Traffic. (32 words)

Wordy: Many have made the wise observation that when a stone is in motion rolling down a hill or incline that that moving stone is not as likely to be covered all over with the kind of thick green moss that grows on stationary unmoving things and becomes a nuisance and suggests that those things haven’t moved in a long time and probably won’t move any time soon. (67 words)

Concise: A rolling stone gathers no moss. (6 words)

3. Combine Sentences.

Some information does not require a full sentence, and can easily be inserted into another sentence without losing any of its value. To get more strategies for sentence combining, see the handout on Sentence Variety.

Wordy: Ludwig's castles are an astounding marriage of beauty and madness. By his death, he had commissioned three castles. (18 words)

Concise: Ludwig's three castles are an astounding marriage of beauty and madness. (11 words)

Wordy: The supposed crash of a UFO in Roswell, New Mexico aroused interest in extraterrestrial life. This crash is rumored to have occurred in 1947. (24 words)

Concise: The supposed 1947 crash of a UFO in Roswell, New Mexico aroused interest in extraterrestrial life. (16 words)


(found at http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/572/01/; accessed 11/2010)

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Ellen Lupton Writing tips from "Design is Storytelling"

Ellen Lupton Writing tips from "Design is Storytelling"

❶ Wait. I’m scared. I have writer’s block.

• Instead of struggling to compose a brilliant for sentence, list the main points you want to make. Don’t worry about the order.
• Go back and group your points into sections. A pitch or presentation should have three to five main sections.
• If making a list feels too linear, create a word map instead. Write your main idea in a bubble in the middle of a sheet of paper. Draw more bubbles with more points.
• Research. Gathering evidence will help you create compelling content. It will also help you defeat writer’s block.

❷ I have notes and a general plan. Now what?

• Start writing in a relaxed, conversational way. Focus on the content, not the words, as if you were speaking to someone. Later, you can improve the writing style.
• As you write, focus on being clear, not clever. Focus on the ideas and information that you want other people to absorb. If your sentences have more secret staircases than a Victorian mansion, it’s time to clean house.
• A metaphor can be your best friend or a backstabbing enemy. Use metaphors to clarify and illuminate concepts, not to create flowery prose.

❸ My text is clear but it’s deadly dull.

• Generate intrigue by questioning assumptions. Make readers curious with phrases such as, “You may have learned in school that… “ or “One of the biggest mistakes in our industry is… “
• Introduce counter-arguments. Anticipate objections and address them.
• Imagine writing an FAQ for your product or idea. What will confuse a new user? Posing questions and then answering them keeps people interested.
• Read your text out loud and listen for repetition and clunky phrases. If you think you are being boring, your audience will, too.
• When you are almost finished, make an outline of what you have done. For example, if you are producing a slide deck, write down the main headings. Are they parallel? Did they tell a clear story? We working the headings can help you restructure your material.

— adapted from Design is Storytelling — Ellen Lupton p. 155–

https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/34696391-design-is-storytelling

Mr. X / he

IN ESSAYS

Where the subject of the previous sentence was something other than the subject of the current sentence, use the full form of the subject (here, “Mr. X”) instead of a pronoun (“he”), since the pronoun will seem as if it refers to the subject of the previous sentence (here, "many people”).

IN LoRs
Your recommender only needs to use your first and last name (Mr. Vince Ricci) once, at the very beginning of the letter, the first time he refers to you. Thereafter, he can refer you to as Mr. Ricci, or Vince. 

Differentiate, or die!

Never write something that someone else could write.

Too often, clients in their essays with something like, This will allow me to achieve my long-term goal.

Why do you even assume that the reader remembers your long-term goal? That was pages ago :) Seriously, use every single opportunity to remind busy readers of what you are trying to achieve and why you care about it. 

Like all humans, admissions office readers learn through repetition. Learn how to say the same thing in a different way. Paraphrase your specific goals. Never use a generic phrase like "my short-term goal" or "my long-term goal." Just because that phrase appears in the question you don't need to repeat it in your essay. You have specific goals. Remind them what your specific goals are at every opportunity. 

Show them the money

One of the hardest things from my Japanese clients to understand is that American people want to hear a hopeful story. It's okay to talk about Japan lagging behind in this area or that area when trying to convince your company to sponsor your MBA or when applying for a Fulbright scholarship or a similar grant. However, when writing for or speaking with admissions officers, tell them a story about the opportunity that you hope to capture.

Include first and last names when mentioning alumni in your essay

Include first and last names when mentioning alumni in your essay

Tip: Always refer to current students or alumni by their full name and year of graduation. 

Reason: Sometimes, admissions office readers only know someone's first name.

IN ESSAYS

• Student names: Always refer to current students or alumni by their full name. Sometimes, adcom readers only know someone's first name, especially at schools like Kellogg and Tuck. Write like this: Vince Ricci (MBA '15)
• School name: similarly, in your goals essay, the first time you write a school's name, spell it out officially as the school does e.g. The Kellogg School of Management. Afterward, you can just call it Kellogg.

IN LETTERS of RECOMMENDATION

• The first time your recommender mentions you, he should write your full name, like this: "I first met Mr. Vince Ricci in 2002." Afterward, he can refer to you as just Mr. Ricci (or Vince if a peer / casual recommender)
• I am writing to you with regard to [Mr./Ms. Full Name], who has requested that I write a letter of recommendation on [his/her] behalf.

Mr vs Mr.

• In British English, abbreviated titles that end with the same letter as the word being abbreviated do not take a full stop (period): “Mr” but “Prof.”
• On the other hand, in American English, all titles take a period: “Mr.” and “Prof.”
• Either way, be sure to add a space after Mr or Mr.

Too many clients write Mr.Smith, which is always incorrect in both US and UK English.

How to markup an essay

Q: What do these editing colors and symbols mean?
A: I often use the following highlight colors to indicate certain writing issues


ORANGE = wdy = wordy, verbose

• wordy: too many words express a desired thought or concept; try to shorten or condense the phrasing or simply omit unnecessary words; also repetitive and/or run-on sentences 
• Please read these tips to make your writing concise and powerful   http://techwritingtodai.blogspot.jp/2012/04/wordy.html

YELLOW = grammar issues, including misplaced modifiers, usage, spelling, articles, agreement, capitalization

• agr = agreement, either subject/verb or pronoun/antecedent 
• art = articles: Should I use an indefinite article (a/an) or a definite article (the)? http://techwritingtodai.blogspot.jp/2011/04/articles.html
• cs = comma splice 
• dm = dangling modifier 
• frag = [sentence] fragment, incomplete sentence: There is part of a sentence, but not enough to make a complete one. 
• cap = capitalize, use uppercase letters (please read this post  http://techwritingtodai.blogspot.jp/2011/03/acronyms.html) 
• lc = use lowercase letter (please read this post  http://techwritingtodai.blogspot.jp/2011/03/acronyms.html)  
• no = number: A number is used incorrectly in text. A common error is beginning a sentence with a number in numerical form. Although sentences may begin with numbers in spelled-out form, numbers in numerical form are not used to begin sentences. The second most common error is failing to spell out numbers less than ten. (http://techwritingtodai.blogspot.jp/2011/03/writingnumbers.html)
• sp = spelling error or "spell out": This signal indicates a spelling mistake, a typographical error, the improper use of an abbreviation instead of the complete word or words, or the failure to spell out numbers less than ten. 
• spchk = use spellcheck (Please learn to avoid these common spelling and grammar errors (not picked up by spell checkers) http://techwritingtodai.blogspot.jp/2013/09/common-spelling-and-grammar-errors-not.html
• v = verb form or forms are incorrect. The most common error of this type is disagreement between the number of the subject of the sentence and the number of the verb ("she see" or "they talks"). Another common problem occurs in series of nouns with "and" or "or;" in "or" series the number of the verb should agree with the noun that is closest to the verb in the sentence. Correct: "A lapse, an error, or omissions in text make it difficult to read." (In this sentence, the plural verb form "make" is correct because the plural noun "omissions" is closest to the verb.) 
• ww = wrong word 
• tr = transpose letters or words 
• # = add space 

GREEN = vague, illogical, imprecise or misleading

• Vague: add prepositional phrases and details to fix the context and define the issues 
• va = vague: A paragraph, sentence, clause, phrase, or word is vague, nonspecific, imprecise, or misleading. The most common error is failure to include short prepositional phrases that tie things down. Vague (depending on context): "The court refused to decide the issue." Precise: "The court refused to decide the issue of proximate cause." 
• Solution: show, don't tell (http://techwritingtodai.blogspot.jp/2011/03/sdt.html) 
• This... what? Professor John Cochrane at The University of Chicago Booth School of Business says, you should clothe the naked “this.” “This” should always have something following it. “This example shows that....” is fine. More generally, this rule helps you to avoid an unclear antecedent to the “this.” Often there are three or more things in recent memory that “this” could point to. http://techwritingtodai.blogspot.jp/2014/07/this-what.html

BLUE = logic or transition issues

• not believable, not credible (esp. in recommendation letters)
• The greatest mistake that I see applicants make when drafting bullet points for letters of recommendation: they cross the credibility line by referencing information the recommender is unlikely to know. Recommenders can only mention what you said and did, not what you thought and felt. How can a recommender know your inner motivations unless you told him? And even if you told him, why would he feel the need to mention such information in a letter of recommendation? Bottom line: He should discuss what you said (add real dialogue) and did (actions and results) instead of what you thought or felt. 
• trans = transition problem: A transition between paragraphs, arguments, or sections of the writing is nonexistent, abrupt, weak, lame or misleading. Think about the logical relationship between the parts that need connecting and try to write a smooth and helpful transition. Good transitions are based upon ideas and their logical relationship, not just clever or stock phrases. 
• Please read these tips to improve your transitions  http://techwritingtodai.blogspot.jp/2012/04/transitions.html  

PINK = awkward or passive

• awkward phrasing, although not grammatically incorrect. Most common: words with slightly inapposite meaning, too many words to express a particular concept, or awkward (but not technically incorrect) grammatical construction 
• pv = passive voice: Passive constructions ("the case was decided" or "it was determined that...") are grammatically correct but weak and often confusing. They are useful only when the subject of the verb is unknown or indefinite or the writer wishes to conceal the subject.
• Otherwise, passive voice—particularly if used repeatedly—is a sign of wooden and heavy writing. 
• Solution: There are five reasons to use passive voice. Please learn them! http://techwritingtodai.blogspot.jp/2011/04/passive-voice.html

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This... what?

THIS... WHAT?

To quote Professor John Cochrane at The University of Chicago Booth School of Business, you should clothe the naked “this.”

“This” should always have something following it. “This example shows that....” is fine. More generally, this rule helps you to avoid an unclear antecedent to the “this.” Often there are three or more things in recent memory that “this” could point to.

In grammar lexicon, the above issue is often marked as "unclear antecedent."

Sometimes an antecedent is unclear not because there are multiple nouns that a pronoun may refer to, but because the noun that the pronoun refers to has not been stated. This error is especially common when writers use first-person plural pronouns—we, us, our, and ours—to imply unity between the writer and the readers.

Identifying and Addressing Unclear Pronouns and Antecedents

https://writingcommons.org/.../1237-identifying-and-addressing-unclear-pronouns-antec...